I just read that you can insure your identity through your
homeowner’s or renter’s policy for as little as $25. So of course I signed up, because there
shouldn’t be an insurance policy in existence that I don’t have!
But the questions that arose after I aroused myself from my
slumber, sleep walking, sleep peeing, snoring and thrashing were these. What is my identity, i.e., WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE? WHERE AM I? WHAT AM I? And most importantly,
WHO CARES? Well, obviously the insurance
company cares because they want my $25.
But is my identity worth more than that?
A pickleball friend recently downgraded my nickname from
MaxiMillion to MaxiDollar. Was this because he saw my stock market portfolio or
was he acutely aware of the true value of my identity? So I needed to investigate this further by
answering the questions that I had to write down so I could remember them to
answer them.
First identity question:
WHO AM I? I look in the mirror,
but all I see is my mother’s face looking back at me. And she looks really, really old…grey hair
(thinning), wrinkles (deepening), teeth (losing). Is this me or a mere reflection of what is to
come (or is already here)?
Next identity question:
WHY AM I HERE? Well, obviously if
I am looking in the mirror, then I am in the bathroom and if I am in the
bathroom, then I am here to pee. And
that has great value!
Question #3: WHERE AM
I? This is a question that is asked
every morning when I arouse myself. And
then asked again multiple times during the day.
The problem is I don’t have the correct answer as many times as I ask
the questions. I’m trying to use the
Hansel and Gretel method of bread crumbs (or leftover matzo crumbs) but find
that I eat more than I drop.
Question #4: WHAT AM
I? Old lives matter. That’s what I am and I value what it took to
get me here (where am I? No, problem, I
have some bread crumbs leading me back to the bathroom). I have value and as soon as the stock market
rebounds, I will have more value.
Hopefully enough to pay for an Uber to get me home.
Last Question: WHO
CARES? Answered already which is why my
State Farm agent is now my bestie.
