My Memory Foam Mattress Has Dementia

I am saddened to announce that my Memory Foam Mattress is showing signs of early dementia.  It’s been coming on slowly, but last night when I expected my mattress (I call him Matt) to couch me in sublime comfort, instead Matt seemed confused.  Where I typically sink into the softness, Matt pushed back, dipping where I billow and billowing where I dip. And what’s worse, I count on Matt to be my backup memory on so many things (when you pay big bucks for a memory foam mattress you expect more than just a good night’s sleep).  Like how many times did I get up at night?  How many times did I sweat through my nightie? When did I last wash my sheets?  Did I pee while I was sleeping? How many times did I call out a man’s name, and what was the name of the man...please remember what was the name of the man?

Matt and I have seen some good times….times I don’t remember but expected Matt to remember for me.  But things have changed.  Now I spend my time with Matt doing Fit Brain and other memory-enhancing apps.   I show Matt pictures of when he was just a little bunch of chemicals and when he grew into spongy foam, trying to bring back memories from his inception.   I don’t know if any of my efforts will work, so I’ve had to come up with Plan O.

Plan O stands for my little grandson, Ori.  He, too, is spongy and I love when he sinks into my loving arms.  I am counting on him to remember the sweetest moments we share together, remembering my laughter, my tears of joy, my total and complete love for him.  I can’t wait until he is old enough to spend the night at my house. And hey, if he can remember the names of any of the men I call out at night...any of them at all...then who needs a memory foam anyway?