Children say the “darndest” things. Well, I’m here to tell you I have been known to say the “damndest” things as I have aged. Here are a few:
· Forgive me for I would love to sin again
· Tell me, does this fat make my butt look big?
· I’m taking a 12 week online course. When finished, I should be able to change the channel on my television.
· Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is … that looking back at me?
· When you are young, farting is funny. When you are old, it’s just a fact of life.
· I love to play with my 2 year old grandson because I usually win every game. But not always.
· Now where did I leave my G Spot?
· They say “It’s only money”. They say that because they have some.
· When in Rome, do as the “Roamings” do. And when you are roaming and can’t find your way home, do as I do… call Uber.
· I just saw the musical “Anything Goes”. It made me laugh. So I went. Damn that bladder.
· Rudyard Kipling wrote “never the twain shall meet”. Well, I met a twain in Cleveland and took it to Denver. So I don’t know what he was talking about.
· As a Virgo, I am shy and don’t like being the center of attention. Huh?
· I was recently stopped by a local policeman for a “California Roll” (it’s a traffic violation). Since he mentioned it, I asked if he wanted to go out for sushi. I was hoping he would frisk me (see the first entry on this list). I am hoping to be paroled soon.