Kids Might Say the Darndest Things, but Look Out for Granny!

                                                                                                         

Children say the “darndest” things.  Well, I’m here to tell you I have been known to say the “damndest” things as I have aged.  Here are a few:

·        Forgive me for I would love to sin again

·        Tell me, does this fat make my butt look big?

·        I’m taking a 12 week online course.  When finished, I should be able to change the channel on my television.

·        Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is …  that looking back at me?

·        When you are young, farting is funny.  When you are old, it’s just a fact of life.

·        I love to play with my 2 year old grandson because I usually win every game.  But not always.

·        Now where did I leave my G Spot?

·        They say “It’s only money”. They say that because they have some.

·        When in Rome, do as the “Roamings” do.  And when you are roaming and can’t find your way home, do as I do… call Uber.

·        I just saw the musical “Anything Goes”.   It made me laugh.  So I went.  Damn that bladder.

·        Rudyard Kipling wrote “never the twain shall meet”.  Well, I met a twain in Cleveland and took it to Denver.  So I don’t know what he was talking about.

·         As a Virgo, I am shy and don’t like being the center of attention.  Huh? 

·        I was recently stopped by a local policeman for a “California Roll” (it’s a traffic violation). Since he mentioned it, I asked if he wanted to go out for sushi.  I was hoping he would frisk me (see the first entry on this list).   I am hoping to be paroled soon.