After my last post, someone wrote that they enjoyed my latest “blob”. At first I thought they must mean “blog”. But then I started thinking about all the blobs in my past and present life and thought perhaps she knew something I forgot about (not a hard concept to embrace). So, I thought back…way back….before computers, but after electricity.
I realized to my dismay that I actually dated a number of “blobs” along with a smattering of Bobs, Richards, Mikes, Davids, Jeffs, Marks, Jims, Rons, Eds, and a whole lot of faces I recall but names that I don’t. It’s all a big blob now.
Then there were the awful teenage blobs that crop up on your face as one’s hormone levels race up and down. No matter how hard you tried to rid yourself of one blob, 2 more would crop up usually right in the middle of your forehead, nose or chin. Or if you were like me, all 3 at one time.
At this age, I have just one large blob on the back of my neck from hunching forward too much trying to shovel food into my mouth. Some call it a hump. Take your pick. Hump, blob, it’s all demoralizing. And just so my neck blob doesn’t feel lonely, I have added thigh blobs, tummy blobs and underarm blobs. Here a blob, there a blob, everywhere a blob blob.
And the worst blobs of present are our presidential blob hopefuls. When I turn on the television, all I can hear is blah, blah, blah, blob. It’s a blob eat blob world out there and the blobs seem to be winning.
So join me in my crusade to rid ourselves of the blobs. Send this message to 10,000 people and ask them all to send me $5 a piece. Hey, if politicians can have Super PACS, I can have a Super BLOB. Soon I will be known as the BlobMeister, the Blobinator, one of the Blobashians, the Blob & 8 makes 9, J Blob, Snoop Blob, Puff Blobby or perhaps Ms Blob USA . Hold the applause please and just send the money.
OMG….. perhaps my friend really did mean “blog”? Sorry. Ignore this blob…I mean blog. But you don’t have to ignore the part where you can still have your 10,000 friends send me money! Power to the Super BLOBBER!