Saturday, October 9, 2021

Ode To My Aging Body



(Sung to the tune of Alan Sherman's Camp Granada)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yFTOvO0utY 

Hello Muddah, hello fadduh

This is Maxine, your youngest daughter

You are gone now, though I have memories

You need know what’s happened since you left me

I got older, but not so wiser

Now my bladder, acts like a geyser

And my body, once trim and fit

Is slowly turning into a pile of shit

My chin’s waddle, has come to roost

And my ass is, getting loose

My eyesight’s dimming, my hearing’s poor

And my hair is grey which, I don’t adore

Now I don’t want to, be complain’n

But my boobs are, not sustaining

Not so perky, sad to say

But that’s a story for another day

 

Why or why can this be true

I’m turning now to both of you

For heavenly answers … you can lie

And say I still  look   fifty-five

 

Whose to blame for this  disaster

Give me answers, that’s what I’m after

All my genes are fading fast

Tell me that my youthful body please will last

 

That’s what’s happened, it’s come to pass

I’m now a senior, and not a lass

I’m embracing, my new life

Turned off newscasts, so there’s no more strife

I’ve decided, no more mirrors

Cause without them, no more tears

Youth is great but, what was I saying

Oh yes, give a cheer for all of us who’re aging!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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